Peace Corps Murmurings

I met with a friend of mine this weekend about the Peace Corps.  Essentially, she strongly recommended me NOT do it because I will more than likely not be supported much spiritually.  This is an excellent point, however, one of the things that I have been looking forward to if I do end up joining is not having people around me to rely on - I will have to rely on Jesus.  I do realise this has the potential to go dreadfully wrong, but as long as I am continually choosing to seek God in all I do...He is there.  There is no place that I can go in any aspect of my life that He will not.

She also brought up some other points that I did not have an answer right then about or realised I had not thought through some concepts.  How will doing the Peace Corps help me in my long term goals when I will more than likely not be working with people who have disabilities primarily?  Why do I not get alongside a person I know who is doing what I want to do and see how they do it? Why do I not see again about joining the community in Ukraine?

This is where I will begin processing my thoughts on all of those because I'm sure many people are sick of my verbal processing so that either leaves talking to myself (which I'm totally cool with, but I have found I at least need a person there.  They don't even need to fully be paying attention to me as long as there is an appearance)  or journaling - hence writing on my blog!

After I felt God tell me to walk in the direction of the Peace Corps and I began doing so, I looked a little more into what it was and began to feel more comfortable with it as I looked at what I would gain from it and what it would mean.
                  -Leadership training.  I feel like I could be comfortable in a role I am confident in my ability to do so, but if there are other people around, even if they are not as knowledgable about it and they want to take charge? I would more than likely still defer to them especially if there is a leaning towards them.  Part of that may still be my self efficacy needing work, but I do feel like I am being led to more leadership roles and I would like more tools than I have at the moment.
                  -Myself.  I will be it in the community.  Yes, I will be working with other people and be living in community.  However, I will be the one people look to do and assist with other things.  There will be no one else to rely on to assist them with or do it for me.  I will have to rely on Jesus.
                  -Language techniques and skills.  I want to be fluent in another language.  While I would REALLY like Russian, the Peace Corps would teach me skills and techniques in learning the particular language I needed to quickly and I can take those to learn Russian later if I end up not being in a Russian speaking country.  I would also be immersed in that particular language to learn it faster and more efficiently.
                  -Living and working in another country.  I have done this before and I loved it!
                  -All expenses paid and then some.  My flight from my origin to training and the country is covered as well as my living expenses while there and my flight back.  I will also receive money to live on to supplement while I try to find a job.  Afterwards, if I decide to continue my education - they will contribute to it and depending on the college and program I attend, the college will match what they contribute.

I think all of these reasons, while they don't directly contribute to my long term goals, provide me with skills that will indirectly assist me with them.  Now the question is why not just go straight into working with people who have disabilities in a group home setting again?  Why not spend time with a person that I like what they are doing with the role I want to eventually have? Why not look at joining the community in Ukraine?

In regards to the first question, I don't know.  While I want to do it and miss it heaps, I guess I am saying that I don't want to do that just yet.  I can't even tell you why at the moment...actually, while I'm typing this out...here is almost the ideal situation that would be perfect and I'm not even sure that I would say yes to doing it if the opportunity came up.  If mostly everything from the Peace Corps was combined with what I "should" or want to do - it would probably look like this.  
   -Working/learning alongside the founding live-in assistant in the Ukrainian community.  
Maybe I would...I'm just not sure.  I think my hesitancy stems from the length of time.  Prior to thinking about doing missions, I considered working in the Lethbridge community and while I'd still like to experience living life there - I got hung up a little on how much time I should tell them that I would stay there when I hadn't even applied.  Working/learning alongside the founding live-in assistant in the Ukrainian community still could be only 2 years...

This is why I don't question things...lol My brain is jumbled so I am going to take some time to dwell more on these new thoughts to see if I can come up with other reasons or explanations - just please, brain - NO MORE QUESTIONS!!! :)

Peace Corps Interview

I realised after posting previously that I haven't updated going from nursing to my other degree I am working towards now.  Again, long story short - my GPA is not the greatest so the couple times I have applied I have been denied.  I talked with a college counselor and he pointed me in the direction of this major so I decided to go ahead and get my bachelor's degree in something else and then possibly go on from there.

I had my Peace Corps interview today!!!  It went so well apparently, she told me that I would be nominated to join.  Now, I am going to be sent things to have my background checked and ensure that my health is good.  Then Placement will call and talk with me about different things available and I should eventually receive an invitation!!! :-D

I'm excited and scared at the same time.  I mean, its scary that I have passed everything and now unless there are no positions out there...I'm pretty much in...scary thought, eh?

Life Updates

Hello, from ages ago.
One of these days, I'll be better at blogging more often but obviously that hasn't quite happened yet.  I went back to school to finish my degree even though what I want to do doesn't require one.  I wish I had discovered this degree awhile ago because it involves everything I'm interested in and more, but definitely wouldn't change my experiences for anything.
After I graduate, long story short I've applied to the Peace Corps.  My interview is soon so I'll have an idea how competitive my application is compared to others.  I would be gone for 27 months and picking where I go isn't an option.  However, you can give your preferences and for me of course, that would be any Russian speaking country.  If this is where God ends up leading me, no matter where I go - I will at least have the tools for me to learn Russian quickly afterwards.
I'm visiting one of my best friends in her new community of the international organization where we met.  It's been awesome and I can't wait to go back into it at some point in my life.  However, I've noticed that I have all sorts of ideas that I'd like to do and not sure how those are going to play out so stay tuned every so often and see if I've updated more than once a year! Lol
Have a great day!

Mothers

Why do I call my mom to share news when I am excited about something? I know her reaction will be like a wet blanket, but yet I still continue to call her.  I hope I learn not to soon 'cause afterwards I feel so frustrated and mad.  The phrase "biding my time" came to me while I was telling her my decision so I said it.  She said that she did not feel like working as a PCT and taking classes towards becoming an EMT was biding my time towards nursing school and "having my life on hold".


While yes, I may have used those phrases - she got hung up on them and missed my point.  I did not even explain things well earlier.  Nursing school is one vision/goal that I have in front of me at the moment that I cannot do until I am accepted.  My thoughts initially were to take courses to become an EMT until I was accepted because it would be working towards the medical field without having to retake classes.  However, as my mom has thrown this at me - I realise that is not something that would be ideal for me because I could become sick of school again and when I DO get accepted into nursing school, not do well and lose passion for it because of continually being in school.


 Whenever I do get accepted into nursing school, I am looking at 2 - 4 years working at a hospital depending on whether or not I choose to have my loans paid off by working for the hospital I attend.  I can keep working there 'cause I really do enjoy it but I know its not something I want to do for the rest of my life - L'Arche is.


I do not think I am making much sense anymore, I will post when I can explain what is going through my head better!

Lo siento!

Obviously I have not blogged in a while, but I am back and the plan is to write more often.  I have a night job as a patient care technician at a local hospital that I love! It does have its moments like every other job, but God definitely knew what I needed as a job while I am not in L'Arche.  I have applied to nursing school and was not accepted due to my GPA so this next semester I am retaking a class to get it up to the requirements for the schools in addition to taking a First Responder class.  An idea I had was to be working towards the medical profession even as a paramedic while waiting for my acceptance into nursing school.


At the moment, I am in CT with one of my best friends who I used to work with at L'Arche.  Maria was very patient last night as she listened to me verbally process all my thoughts on nursing school, my desire to spend time in L'Arche Lethbridge, work, etc.  Through all that, I realised that while nursing school is a pretty big factor that is the main difficult variable - L'Arche Lethbridge is a constant that I want to do.  While I am still going to be in prayer about this and will go as God leads, at the moment I have decided that next year when my lease is up I will go to L'Arche Lethbridge.


If I get accepted into nursing school next January at Research, it will only be for six months that I am there.  If I am not? I will commit to a year and see where God leads me.  While I do feel that God has confirmed nursing, it still may not be now and it may look completely different than what I am envisioning at the moment.       


See one of the reasons I came up here even though I had to go south to go north? lol I love Maria and everyone in my life 'cause all of them have brought me to this point in some way and I am going to continue growing in amazing ways because of how my life is enriched with those around me! 

Smackdowns

I went to read the book yesterday by Derek Prince I have been slowly working through.  "Bought with Blood" talks about what Jesus did for us when He died on the cross. I have had it for almost 3 weeks now and I am only finishing the 8th chapter which is what I am going to talk about.  There is a lot of great things that I am taking my time going through as its poignant stuff to read. 

This chapter was about how Jesus took the curses on us upon Himself so we could be blessed.  It went deeper than "wages of sin".  Derek Prince wrote on indications of curses, how they come about, and how to break them and claim God's blessing instead on our lives.  Earlier, I had just thought about my housemates.  One in particular who I have a tendency to feel so inadequate around when I compare myself to her.  She does absolutely nothing to make me feel that way - its my own doing - hence the smackdown I received  from God as I was reading through on curses.

I speak curses over my life.  I let others speak curses over my life.  Words have power.  Saying something like "I'm stupid" like I was thinking in comparison to my housemate is a curse I am speaking over my life.  I listen to the bad things people say to me and let it be over me when that IS NOT what God has planned for me! When Jesus died on the cross, He made it so the blessing of Abraham extended to Gentiles, which extends to EVERY area of our lives!

My prayer from this is that I only speak blessings on myself and over others.  I do not want to be responsible for having myself or another person living underneath a curse because of me.  I now see how this could quite possibly be why I have felt called to believe and claim that I will be accepted into nursing school.  In my speaking it, I am speaking a blessing over my life - which is what I SHOULD be doing!!

Triumphs and trust

Wow, I did not realise I have not blogged in quite a while! 

Update on my life - I now have 2 jobs.  I work with seniors and as a personal care technician in the float pool at a local hospital.  Technically, I could have 3 jobs but I want to see how often I am called as a personal care technician before assisting with a child who has disabilities.

I recently got back from a family vacation.  It was different as my siblings and I are now the only singles in our family that do not have kids and have not been married.  I enjoyed it though 'cause I was able to talk as an adult with my aunts and uncles.  I was able to see most of my family and at a birthday party for my uncle, I met this girl that at my age had her fourth child!!!

While on my trip, I popped onto my parents my goals before I turn 30.  HEAPS of variables are involved here, but I would like to hopefully get my bachelor's in nursing.  Save money up and at least be in the process of adopting a child with disabilities from Ukraine.  Buy a newer car.  I would like to be married before I am 30 as well, but as there are no prospects atm this is for if I am not married yet.  I would also like to be a foster parent.

More and more I am seeing that while I do want to be married, I am not in the state where I feel like I will be comfortable if a relationship turns serious quickly.  I am open to a relationship eventually becoming serious, but my concern is that the guy will be more into it than me and I do not like that idea.  I am going to continue to trust God and grow in my relationship with Him because He knows what He is doing in and through my life!