I was in Australia when this happened, but a young man named Nathan died before age 18 after playing a football game. His parents started an organisation to provide Bibles for those who need one because the Bible was such an intergral part of his life. "The Nathan Project" is actually a challenge to read the Bible every day for a year and talk about it in a group.
I am going to do this challenge while in Nepal. However, meeting in a group may get a little tricky so my "group" to talk about what I am reading will be this blog. Well, as much as I will be able to post with third world dial up speed internet and uncertain access! Also, I will be in Nepal for 2 years so I may take the time to go slower through the Bible. We shall see, but I do want to make sure I am relying on God and not my ownself.
I had been reading current volunteers blogs on occasion, but I have decided to stop because they have become more depressing. I know I will have points in my life while there that will be as low as they have felt at the time of posting, but considering the fact that I'm already near that point myself? Probably not a good idea to surround myself with more of it!
I do not want to come in with any expectations or imaginings. My experiences in Australia really benefited from that, I believe. There were no disappointments and I rolled with anything. My focus now just needs to not be on what is going on around me, but on Jesus as the time for me to leave creeps up.
40 more days!
I got an opportunity to talk with a friend of mine that has heard me verbal process through God's direction to the Peace Corps. She was actually the one that helped me when I was confused after my interview and being given options to choose between nomination places.
See, in my interview, I had said that the job I did was the most important, then place, and timing. When I was given the choice between being nominated for Nepal or Fiji...Fiji was the one that I liked the job more over Nepal, but I wanted to choose Nepal because it was a place I had been wanting to go for 8 years (as well as Russia, though I hadn't really talked about wanting to go to Nepal). Long story short, I felt at one time I was going to Nepal, but it was not God's timing. Russia is the country I have a heart for.
My friend walked me through a few questions that I don't really remember or the conclusion except that ultimately, I wanted to go to serve people and that I'd be happy wherever I was placed because I would be serving others. Just because I had a preference of place over the job at the time did not mean that I still would prefer place over the job. I don't know if that even made sense, but in essence - my friend helped me reconcile my confusion.
This time, she helped me to see that my past annoyances with people talking about how I was "marching to my own drumbeat" and "been wanting to do this for a long time". God has a calling on my life that is taking me to do things that do not seem normal for others. It is not necessarily because others do not see the hand of God directing my paths, but that it is not something they may be able to understand because God may not have called them to go. Again, I don't know if this makes sense, but once again I am more reconciled to it. However, I still DO plan on posting a status on Facebook to inform people that I am following God's will for my life and not my own.
I have gone through many seasons in my life. YWAM, I knew I was supposed to go. Afterwards? I knew God had told me to stay in KS despite my desire to go so I did. Time went on and I began to truly appreciate where I was in my life and thankful I was in KS. Not much later, I felt God release me to go. It BLEW my mind that it was finally time, but I went to Australia. I came back and took a year to myself. I was led to go back to school and finally complete my degree. Now? I'm being told to go again.
These past few years being back, God has been preparing me for such a time as this. This next stage of my life? All my love and overflowing preparation will be released and I can finally completely focus on my purpose in life - to love others!
I need to figure out why I cringe when I hear "You've wanted this a long time"...
I take that back, I DO know why...
I seem to have made it appear that this is something I wanted to do, which it is - but first and foremost I have wanted to do God's will. I talked about it because I felt it was the direction that He was leading, but it seems that either I didn't convey it that well or others focused on how I talked about the Peace Corps rather than how I said I felt it was where God was leading me.
I'm sure people don't think that I am going just because I want to. Well, maybe some do but the ones that understand seeking God's will hopefully know that I have searched for His will and am following His direction.
It bothers me because I don't want this opportunity to be seen as something I wanted to do. Yes, I wanted to do it, but this was after a heart change from God. If He had led me somewhere else -I would have gone THAT direction rather than the Peace Corps.
I was wanting to type this earlier and had thought about including it in my last post, but didn't want to to be so long so here is another entry!
A good friend of mine and I had lunch a few months ago. She talked about her boyfriend and another friend of ours with his girlfriend. Long story short, the boyfriend had mentioned how appreciative he was that she wanted to look good for him. Our friend had mentioned he would like his girlfriend to look nicer on occasion. My thoughts on this? I'M SCREWED...lol
I don't mind wearing makeup, but it is not something I wear often. Who knows? Maybe if I am in a relationship - I will want to look nicer while going out (although that wasn't the case with my ex, but it wasn't exactly a great relationship anyways). My friend did say she was a little shocked to hear that from the guys in her life 'cause her primary thought was that guys didn't like high maintenance so my eventual guy would probably appreciate my low maintenance. :) I choose to go with that!
All this conversation did make me think, however. There is a fine line between looking nice and looking nice with high maintenance. When I go out of the house, depending on why - I'm typically not trashy looking. I do occasionally go out in pajamas, but that is only for a quick grocery run. Actually going out with friends? I'll dress nice, but the makeup is occasional.
My pastor called me out in church Sunday. To be honest, he caught me as I was trying not to fall asleep so I'm not entirely positive I nodded in agreement correctly and heard him... However, I think he said something along the lines of how I'm not chasing after guys, but am still surrounding myself with people - emphasizing we need relationships even if we're single. Whomever God has for me will love me for who I am and find me beautiful whether I am wearing makeup or not!
Of course, I just read a book involving faith. :) I am taking the opportunity to record this so when I get to feeling low - I can remember to put my faith in God because He loves me and not focus on my surroundings and fear.
Romans 8:35, Romans 5:1-5
I got to thinking today about paydays (since one of mine is this Friday) and how many I had left until I graduated. THERE ARE ONLY 9!!!!! Minor freakout moment and calculated how many hours I needed to do to be out of it, which has not changed from working 60 hours/week (not including night differential and overtime) that I had calculated beginning from midDecember. Actually, that does not make much sense - obviously my math is not the greatest...
I'll try and calculate it out again later, but in the meantime - I ONLY HAVE 9 PAYDAYS TO BE OUT OF DEBT!!!! :-P Not many at all... :(
This month will be difficult because I need to somehow pay for school and health insurance, which I do not believe I can make $2500 in 2 weeks. What would that calculate out to, I wonder...? Looks like 15 shifts and that is not possible as I already have missed 2 days and there are only 14 days in 2 weeks, but I will definitely work as much as I can towards that!
After I see how much I have left after throwing some at credit cards, I will probably end up taking out more student loans so school is paid for interest free (for me) and I cannot panic and focus on getting out of credit card debt. This means more student loans that I need to pay off, but it at least allows me to not have to worry about paying interest and not having the money when it is due.
During times like these, I need to trust that Jesus has things under control even though things are coming up extremely fast... :) It is also not going to be the end of the world if I am not able to graduate with no debt like I want to, but I would at least like to make ONE goal that I made last summer!!
Hello, from ages ago.
One of these days, I'll be better at blogging more often but obviously that hasn't quite happened yet. I went back to school to finish my degree even though what I want to do doesn't require one. I wish I had discovered this degree awhile ago because it involves everything I'm interested in and more, but definitely wouldn't change my experiences for anything.
After I graduate, long story short I've applied to the Peace Corps. My interview is soon so I'll have an idea how competitive my application is compared to others. I would be gone for 27 months and picking where I go isn't an option. However, you can give your preferences and for me of course, that would be any Russian speaking country. If this is where God ends up leading me, no matter where I go - I will at least have the tools for me to learn Russian quickly afterwards.
I'm visiting one of my best friends in her new community of the international organization where we met. It's been awesome and I can't wait to go back into it at some point in my life. However, I've noticed that I have all sorts of ideas that I'd like to do and not sure how those are going to play out so stay tuned every so often and see if I've updated more than once a year! Lol
Have a great day!
