I was in Australia when this happened, but a young man named Nathan died before age 18 after playing a football game. His parents started an organisation to provide Bibles for those who need one because the Bible was such an intergral part of his life. "The Nathan Project" is actually a challenge to read the Bible every day for a year and talk about it in a group.
I am going to do this challenge while in Nepal. However, meeting in a group may get a little tricky so my "group" to talk about what I am reading will be this blog. Well, as much as I will be able to post with third world dial up speed internet and uncertain access! Also, I will be in Nepal for 2 years so I may take the time to go slower through the Bible. We shall see, but I do want to make sure I am relying on God and not my ownself.
I had been reading current volunteers blogs on occasion, but I have decided to stop because they have become more depressing. I know I will have points in my life while there that will be as low as they have felt at the time of posting, but considering the fact that I'm already near that point myself? Probably not a good idea to surround myself with more of it!
I do not want to come in with any expectations or imaginings. My experiences in Australia really benefited from that, I believe. There were no disappointments and I rolled with anything. My focus now just needs to not be on what is going on around me, but on Jesus as the time for me to leave creeps up.
40 more days!
I need to figure out why I cringe when I hear "You've wanted this a long time"...
I take that back, I DO know why...
I seem to have made it appear that this is something I wanted to do, which it is - but first and foremost I have wanted to do God's will. I talked about it because I felt it was the direction that He was leading, but it seems that either I didn't convey it that well or others focused on how I talked about the Peace Corps rather than how I said I felt it was where God was leading me.
I'm sure people don't think that I am going just because I want to. Well, maybe some do but the ones that understand seeking God's will hopefully know that I have searched for His will and am following His direction.
It bothers me because I don't want this opportunity to be seen as something I wanted to do. Yes, I wanted to do it, but this was after a heart change from God. If He had led me somewhere else -I would have gone THAT direction rather than the Peace Corps.
While I haven't posted on this blog in awhile due to my starting one on another site - I had planned on keeping this one so I could express more God things. It is times like these as well that I realize that having this is a good thing for the times I want to verbal process and no one is available.
I was talking with my boss this week and he mentioned something that I semi sort of agreed with, but was too in shock at the time to really wrap my head around it. Apparently, my mom once thought that she didn't know where I would end up until she realized that I marched to my own drumbeat. (She must have mentioned this to him while she was in the hospital.) My boss then proceeded to say I did things my own way, which I do agree with because really...who cares how it gets down as long as it gets done?!
I mentioned to a friend what my mom said about marching to my own drumbeat not too long ago and he agreed that I did. This is what gives me pause and why I semi sort agree with this statement. I am disturbed by it being said because with this whole Peace Corps thing - I have prayed and been seeking God in it. I did not just choose to do this and went for it. Heck, even after God had told me I was choosing the safe option of missions when I was leaning more towards that instead of the Peace Corps...I still had it in my mind that I was going to do missions!
I don't really know what to do about this, but I do know that next time someone says I march to my own drumbeat - I WILL make sure to state that I march to God's drumbeat for my life!
I really don't have anything to post or update, but I've got some downtime during rehearsals and began thinking on things. Usually, this is dangerous for me to do because it typically results in becoming pretty down on myself - however this time it didn't for a change!
First of all, someone in the future Peace Corps group received their invitation for August recently so I really need to start disregarding what is being said on that count as it obviously varies! FSO was also mentioned and I hadn't heard of it before so I looked it up. Foreign Service Officer...
I wasn't able to get much information on what it meant beyond consuls, but it definitely seems interesting. It made me realize I really don't have much direction beyond possibly 2 years from now and how completely ok with it I am.
I'm still not out of debt and extra expenses are coming up soon. Yesterday I discovered something I appreciated, but wasn't sure about has probably no longer become viable...lol that's a weird way of putting it, but I honestly couldn't be happier about it!
So much of what is going on with my life should be stressing me out, but it's not. Thank You, Lord! I'm me and I'm good with it. Stephanie, when you read this later and if you're not feeling that - remember this time in rehearsal watching a bunch of talented kids and knowing God has made you how He wants you.
I hope everyone reading this knows how special you are - no matter how inadequate you feel around other people - y'all have things you can do that others cannot. Have a great day!
