So I wait for You

So I'm sitting at the house by myself not wanting to be up and REALLY wanting a job.  3 of the 6 jobs at St. Luke's I have applied to have said no, but apply to others.  No word on the applications I sent yesterday as of yet.  I really do believe that God is in control and He is working everything out, but I am realising that while I have patience - I am getting ancy with so much time on my hands.  
There are HEAPS of things I can be doing that I enjoy and would like to do if I had the time.  I have the time now, but I begin or think about starting it up - to find myself wanting to do something else.  This process repeats over and over if I choose to try that other thing.  If I do not? I end up like I am at the moment wanting to do so many things, yet semi-unable to stay focused on one thing.  
Anywho, the reason I decided to post now is due to something on Facebook ironically enough.  It is an application called "God Wants You to Know".  This is what it said today.

On this day of your life, Stephanie, we believe God wants you to know ... that when you pursue your dreams, every second is an encounter with God.
	Following your dreams opens your heart allowing God to enter and fill you with bliss.

Needless to say, God reminded me again that during this period of waiting I should spend time with Him.  Whatever I do while I wait, God is with me and wants me to commune with Him in these moments.  Well, I'm going to go do that now! Please continue to keep me in your prayers as people go over my resume and think about hiring me!

Joy and waiting

Church was incredible today.  All last week I was able to do VBS with toddlers.  It was so much fun and I really enjoyed being involved.  I also let the head of MOPS know that I wanted to volunteer my kid helping abilities.  Sounds like I will be in babies again!!!

Sitting in service as it was centred around VBS was awesome.  Throughout the whole thing, I just could not stop thinking about the fact that I was a part of the church that had so many amazing things going on.  I do not even know what the official vision of my church is since most of the pastoral staff is new, but whatever it is - I feel excited about where the church is going and glad that I will be able to be more a part of it.

As much as I loved teaching Sunday School, that is something that I am going to not volunteer for soon.  While hopefully my schedule is NOT going to be crazy - I do want to make sure I have the opportunity to be in service most of the time and that was not the case when I helped in Sunday School.  

This has all bubbled over to sending 2 other applications for a CNA position at Lee's Summit Medical Centre.  The name of the game is WAIT.  "Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side.  The Light of the My Presence is shining upon you.  Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am." (taken from John 8:12 and 2 Corinthians 3:18)

For we walk by faith, not by sight.   2 Corinthians 5:7

40 Days with Jesus

I thought it would be good to go through an additional book in my devotions as I become more consistent with them and go through this incredible time in my life.  Its called "40 Days with Jesus" and I figured it was wholly appropriate to have it at the beginning since I'm still in the process of waiting for a job and word on nursing school.

The first couple days I began it have been correlating to what I have been typing with my devotions, which is why I have not mentioned it until now.  While anyone in my position should be concerned about still not having a job yet, I keep reminding myself and God keeps reassuring me that everything happens in His time - not ours.  Here are the Bible verses to sample what the additional book speaks along with my devotions.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.  Psalm 34:8

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace and be thankful.  Colossians 3:15

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  2 Corinthians 3:18

Yet I am always with you; You hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward You will take me into glory.  Psalm 73:23-24

Is it not incredible how God is with us wherever we go? I'm looking forward to these next 37 days to see what He has in store!

Stronger than yesterday

A day or so ago, I went to my old job and had a copy made of something for them.  While there, I noticed I began shaking.  I loved my job, but it was made very difficult and is why I'm not going to work there.  Yes, I thought it was pretty ridiculous too that I was shaking when I no longer was an employee! I told myself to stop 'cause I was much stronger than when I was when I had worked there.  My shaking needless to say, stopped and I was much more confident in being there than I was when I had come.

 I talked with an old high school classmate and caught up with her today.  It was good to talk about our lives and how we'd risen to the challenges of life and grown.  We went to my old church and made copies for the children's pastor too.  While there, I saw that another pastor seemed to still be at the church.  Long story short, I just really didn't like how he handled a few situations.  I called my mom and talked with her briefly about it and in some ways, we agreed to disagree and others she and I were in different spots.

I got home and processed a bit with my roommate.  I love them! I checked my e-mail to discover that one position at St. Luke's they have decided to go with another person.  My roommate and I then went on a grocery run due to a lunch we're having to have people over at our house for the first time as guests.  All the guests fell out at the last minute save one, but that is OK.  Afterwards, I got to hang out with some more friends and we hung up some pictures.  Our house really looks like a home now.

Devotions is on working together and treating the body of Christ right.  I feel that is what my roommates and I are doing as we walk through this year of life - working together and hopefully treating them right! ;) Regardless of my feelings towards the pastor, if I had seem him earlier today I would have treated him right.  We are all human and make mistakes no matter if God is in us or not.  Its always a good idea to acknowledge you have made them, though!

Disappointments and Surprises

Children's Mercy rejected me.

I reread St. Luke's e-mail on when they would get back to me and found out I could apply to any other positions I wanted to so I applied for several more.

I went out with a friend and discovered a store has Tim Tams and ginger beer from Australia!!!! Definitely made my day and everything better.

I got to chat with another friend and decided that I would not be going on a trip over Labor Day to visit her, but she would come sometime next year.  Slight disappointment, but its not all that far away from next year and I still am hoping that I can come up for my birthday.

She also is going to look at my resume and cover letter to make it better and enable me to get a job sometime soon.

Devotions will be tomorrow as I typed what I had read last night already and I haven't gone to bed yet for me to read them for today!

In the meantime, keep me in your prayers for me to get a job soon.  Lord, even in rejection I still believe you have the perfect job for me and I will get it in Your time.  Your will be done! 

Ball is rolling

I filled out and sent my application to St. Luke's!!!!

I have also sent my letters of reference in the mail and requested my high school to send my transcripts.I have sent a request for my college to send my transcripts from there and printed off my resume and send it on its way!!! Voila!

Finished!

I also was able to visit with a friend of mine after an event at church! We had a great time catching up on what went on the past year and what we were looking at doing in the future.  I found out something I had not realised which was sad, but did have a few others clarified and confirmed.

Devotions again were encouraging.  They talked about how we all need each other and need to work together.  Everyone, pray for me my application is being reviewed - both for nursing school and a job.  I am going to need everyone in support of and around me as I become involved with becoming a nurse and working as a CNA.

Something I found interesting is how devotions talked about our place in the body of Christ and how He gives you specific measures of faith due to our role.  

Romans 12:3

New International Version (NIV)

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

 ³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

It definitely states that God gives different faith to people.  Faith has always been faith to me.  The main point of mentioning this was 'cause devotions suggested that if you are struggling in faith - it is God's way of guiding you into your place.  I'll need to chew more on that later as atm I am not sure if I understand this point of view on faith.

I do agree with the ending prayer, however.  I'll close with it and agree with me as I walk in the direction I believe God is leading me.

Thank You Jesus for making me a part of Your body.  I proclaim God is guiding me into my specific place, for I am a member of the body of Christ.  Amen 

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Today has been more of God speaking to my heart.  

Devotions was on "finding our place".  Place as in the body of Christ.  We belong to Him and each of us has a place that we will never really flourish until we are in it.  "You will be frustrated and unfulfilled until you find and fulfill your calling."

During service, I began to have things come back - reminding me of my worries.  Instead of dwelling on them, I laid them at His feet and continued worshiping Him.  Announcements talked about how some people were in the hospital - to be honest, I don't remember much of what was said.  All I remember is the sudden pressing feeling of God and my desire to be the one with people while they were in hospital.  I found myself tearing up as I wondered just how I could have ever thought that nursing was not for me.  I don't know what this means quite yet.  All I know is that I'm going to turn up the heat in applying to nursing school and looking for jobs as a CNA!

During service, I was reminded that just having faith that God will work it out does not mean it should stand alone.  Faith is being grounded in the Word with what it proclaims.  As I blog, I'll post at the end Scripture of the promises God has given that I am basing my thoughts and standing in faith that things will happen!

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Starting over

Yes, I have deleted all my previous posts. I did so because they were disjointed with my irregular blogging and really wouldn't make much sense with what I am planning on doing now with my blog. I have decided that I am in a new season of my life that I am still figuring out. I want to document my walk in this stage, more regularly than I attempted to previously - therefor, the wiped blog and clean slate to begin.

I have been back in the States for a little over 2 months after spending 1 year in Australia as a live-in assistant in a group home for people with disabilities connected to an international organisation called L'Arche. I have moved out of my parents house to live in a rental house with 2 old co-workers who used to be live-ins with me at L'Arche Heartland. This year I originally thought was going to be me processing what I have lived the past 3 years as a live-in assistant with L'Arche as well as sussing out my next steps. I also have recently got re-certified as a CNA in Kansas and become one in Missouri as well.

Since rent typically is a result of moving out of your parents house, I have been looking for jobs in addition to processing and sussing. :) There are a few other things that have been in my mind that honestly, I felt should be stressing me out. It bothered me that it wasn't 'cause I almost felt apathetic and that is never a good thing. I talked a very good friend of mine and mentioned my feelings and everything going on to her. She pointed out to me that I'm sussing and processing. I'm in a completely different space in my life and I'm still adjusting to things.

With that in mind in addition to wondering about a few dreams I haven't heard God speak to me about in a while, I took some time to myself and brought out a devotional. Going through it, the theme for the past couple days was "I have been bought by the blood of Christ. I belong to God." It walked through the steep price that Jesus paid and how it was not cheap so we shouldn't see ourselves as cheap. We need to "conduct ourselves throughout the time of your stay in fear" - as in having a deep sense of responsibility that comes due to the price that Jesus paid to redeem us.

As we have been bought and redeemed - this means that our bodies (spirit, body, and soul) belong to God and He can dwell in them by His Holy Spirit. He wants us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, which means it no longer belongs to us. It belongs to God. As we belong to God, He has sanctified us. He has set us apart to where God is the only One with access - Satan has no reach. God has placed us in an area where we are made available to Him! Anything that is not of God has no right to approach you - its kept away by the blood. We have been removed from Satan's authority and translated into God's kingdom. We are in God's territory and we are under His laws!!!

Needless to say, this is why I have begun a clean slate. I have allowed Satan to deceive me and at times follow under his laws when God has bought me and I am His child. NO MORE! :-D God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND. I no longer live in timidity - I am NOT cheap, which means I am invaluable. I'll close this really long post with this verse I received via e-mail.

Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. – 2 Samuel 7:28 (NIV)

Toward the end of his life, David makes a powerful statement: the things that God had promised David at the beginning of his life were fulfilled toward the end of it. David’s words are a source of comfort for all of us who are walking through life and wondering where we will end up, or how we will finish our course on this earth. God is the Alpha and the Omega, He was there at the beginning and He is faithful to the end.