One of my favourite authors, Robin Jones Gunn, recently came out with a book beginning a continuation series of past novels. Basically, she has a young adult series and it progresses to adult, etc. but you can read one series ie. The College Years and not be lost if you haven't read the past novels.
This new series is the married years of Todd and Christy Spencer and I've been so excited about this! Without giving away spoilers, lets just say that the truths I will be taking away from it will certainly be ones I will be using while in Nepal. They are what are in the forefront of my mind as I think about what challenges I will face.
I've been reading more current PCV Nepal blogs and I've discovered I really shouldn't... I'm stopping myself from really freaking out, but apparently we will have language proficiency tests to do prior to being sworn in as a PCV! This definitely makes sense because you certainly can't be successful without a semi-decent proficiency in language, but it still is causing me to freak out because while I've attempted to learn other languages before - success is not something I've accomplished. However, I also haven't spent a fair amount of time on learning them and been in full immersion!
Also, I've learned that there is a possibility of a family member coming to visit you when you are sworn in as a volunteer. :) Don't know how that works out, but it is a nice idea!
As my mind begins to go to freak out mode from what I have read, these next few verses come to me in response. I need to keep in mind these Scriptures for the next journey where God is taking me.
Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged for the Lord our God will be with you wherever you go.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I got an opportunity to talk with a friend of mine that has heard me verbal process through God's direction to the Peace Corps. She was actually the one that helped me when I was confused after my interview and being given options to choose between nomination places.
See, in my interview, I had said that the job I did was the most important, then place, and timing. When I was given the choice between being nominated for Nepal or Fiji...Fiji was the one that I liked the job more over Nepal, but I wanted to choose Nepal because it was a place I had been wanting to go for 8 years (as well as Russia, though I hadn't really talked about wanting to go to Nepal). Long story short, I felt at one time I was going to Nepal, but it was not God's timing. Russia is the country I have a heart for.
My friend walked me through a few questions that I don't really remember or the conclusion except that ultimately, I wanted to go to serve people and that I'd be happy wherever I was placed because I would be serving others. Just because I had a preference of place over the job at the time did not mean that I still would prefer place over the job. I don't know if that even made sense, but in essence - my friend helped me reconcile my confusion.
This time, she helped me to see that my past annoyances with people talking about how I was "marching to my own drumbeat" and "been wanting to do this for a long time". God has a calling on my life that is taking me to do things that do not seem normal for others. It is not necessarily because others do not see the hand of God directing my paths, but that it is not something they may be able to understand because God may not have called them to go. Again, I don't know if this makes sense, but once again I am more reconciled to it. However, I still DO plan on posting a status on Facebook to inform people that I am following God's will for my life and not my own.
I have gone through many seasons in my life. YWAM, I knew I was supposed to go. Afterwards? I knew God had told me to stay in KS despite my desire to go so I did. Time went on and I began to truly appreciate where I was in my life and thankful I was in KS. Not much later, I felt God release me to go. It BLEW my mind that it was finally time, but I went to Australia. I came back and took a year to myself. I was led to go back to school and finally complete my degree. Now? I'm being told to go again.
These past few years being back, God has been preparing me for such a time as this. This next stage of my life? All my love and overflowing preparation will be released and I can finally completely focus on my purpose in life - to love others!
I need to figure out why I cringe when I hear "You've wanted this a long time"...
I take that back, I DO know why...
I seem to have made it appear that this is something I wanted to do, which it is - but first and foremost I have wanted to do God's will. I talked about it because I felt it was the direction that He was leading, but it seems that either I didn't convey it that well or others focused on how I talked about the Peace Corps rather than how I said I felt it was where God was leading me.
I'm sure people don't think that I am going just because I want to. Well, maybe some do but the ones that understand seeking God's will hopefully know that I have searched for His will and am following His direction.
It bothers me because I don't want this opportunity to be seen as something I wanted to do. Yes, I wanted to do it, but this was after a heart change from God. If He had led me somewhere else -I would have gone THAT direction rather than the Peace Corps.
