She also brought up some other points that I did not have an answer right then about or realised I had not thought through some concepts. How will doing the Peace Corps help me in my long term goals when I will more than likely not be working with people who have disabilities primarily? Why do I not get alongside a person I know who is doing what I want to do and see how they do it? Why do I not see again about joining the community in Ukraine?
This is where I will begin processing my thoughts on all of those because I'm sure many people are sick of my verbal processing so that either leaves talking to myself (which I'm totally cool with, but I have found I at least need a person there. They don't even need to fully be paying attention to me as long as there is an appearance) or journaling - hence writing on my blog!
After I felt God tell me to walk in the direction of the Peace Corps and I began doing so, I looked a little more into what it was and began to feel more comfortable with it as I looked at what I would gain from it and what it would mean.
-Leadership training. I feel like I could be comfortable in a role I am confident in my ability to do so, but if there are other people around, even if they are not as knowledgable about it and they want to take charge? I would more than likely still defer to them especially if there is a leaning towards them. Part of that may still be my self efficacy needing work, but I do feel like I am being led to more leadership roles and I would like more tools than I have at the moment.
-Myself. I will be it in the community. Yes, I will be working with other people and be living in community. However, I will be the one people look to do and assist with other things. There will be no one else to rely on to assist them with or do it for me. I will have to rely on Jesus.
-Language techniques and skills. I want to be fluent in another language. While I would REALLY like Russian, the Peace Corps would teach me skills and techniques in learning the particular language I needed to quickly and I can take those to learn Russian later if I end up not being in a Russian speaking country. I would also be immersed in that particular language to learn it faster and more efficiently.
-Living and working in another country. I have done this before and I loved it!
-All expenses paid and then some. My flight from my origin to training and the country is covered as well as my living expenses while there and my flight back. I will also receive money to live on to supplement while I try to find a job. Afterwards, if I decide to continue my education - they will contribute to it and depending on the college and program I attend, the college will match what they contribute.
I think all of these reasons, while they don't directly contribute to my long term goals, provide me with skills that will indirectly assist me with them. Now the question is why not just go straight into working with people who have disabilities in a group home setting again? Why not spend time with a person that I like what they are doing with the role I want to eventually have? Why not look at joining the community in Ukraine?
In regards to the first question, I don't know. While I want to do it and miss it heaps, I guess I am saying that I don't want to do that just yet. I can't even tell you why at the moment...actually, while I'm typing this out...here is almost the ideal situation that would be perfect and I'm not even sure that I would say yes to doing it if the opportunity came up. If mostly everything from the Peace Corps was combined with what I "should" or want to do - it would probably look like this.
-Working/learning alongside the founding live-in assistant in the Ukrainian community.
Maybe I would...I'm just not sure. I think my hesitancy stems from the length of time. Prior to thinking about doing missions, I considered working in the Lethbridge community and while I'd still like to experience living life there - I got hung up a little on how much time I should tell them that I would stay there when I hadn't even applied. Working/learning alongside the founding live-in assistant in the Ukrainian community still could be only 2 years...
This is why I don't question things...lol My brain is jumbled so I am going to take some time to dwell more on these new thoughts to see if I can come up with other reasons or explanations - just please, brain - NO MORE QUESTIONS!!! :)
